I feel insecure sometimes. So does everyone else. Probably its because we have something which we don't want to lose.
Its a refreshing feeling when you think of it like that. What is the point in living if there is nothing to live for?
Every morning I wake up and go about my normal course of work knowing that what I treasure the most is safe and sound. Sometimes, when I feel otherwise, I just don't feel like doing anything. Its normal to be insecure but the question is how insecure can you be?
I have seen many who are very insecure and their very existence is riddled in fear of losing. They are quite common a breed. What are their lives like I wonder. It must be difficult to lead a normal life. Still, that is what they want to live like and I don't want them to think otherwise. Maybe unlike many of us, they have something to live for. Something which they fear they might end up losing. And maybe, thats the way to live.
With every insecurity comes hope of course. Hope that everything is fine and will be fine.
I remember a day in my life, when I had lost a water bottle of mine which I liked quite a bit. I had left it by a pond. A few of my friends had gone their later to look for it as i stayed far away, but they couldn't find it. I never went back to the pond later because I taught myself to feel that the bottle is still there by the pond just as I had left it. I feared if I go back to look for it and didn't see it there, I would feel bad. Fear of losing something which i know is lost. A peculiar insecurity of my life.
Probably I'll head back there soon to check on it and maybe I'll not find the bottle there, maybe not even the pond...its been that long. However, what I will realize is that I have grown up and am not that insecure anymore. I am happy with what I have and hope that everything will remain with me forever which again I know is never going to happen.
Too complicated? Great. Precisely my intention.
